Impotence: the word that strikes fear in the bravest of men! And for good reason: a man’s identity is intrinsically linked to his ability to go forth and multiply, which in turn is dependent upon his ability to ‘get it up’. Sex plays such an important role in our adult lives: it brings us pleasure (surveys confirm what most of us already know: we are at our happiest while having sex), it enables us to reproduce and thus temporarily escape our fear of mortality, and it quiets our loneliness by allowing us to become physically and emotionally intimate with another being. In short it excites, it enthrals and it entices us.
And so, when a man realises that his erections (if they come at all) are not as firm or as quick in arriving as they once were, a real dread can result. This is often accompanied by confusion, anger and a sense of insecurity. What does this mean about his ability to sexually satisfy a woman? How can he even begin a sexual encounter when he is no longer sure how it will end?
For many men, the answer to this problem is to google ‘Viagra’ and order some little blue pills from a spurious source on the Internet. This particular approach is not to be recommended for a couple of important reasons. Firstly, Viagra should only be prescribed by a doctor, in order to ensure that it is the appropriate medication for the problem and that it is given in the correct dosage. Erectile dysfunction may be the result of heart and blood pressure medications, or even some cold and sinus remedies; if this is the case, the doctor may be able to change the medication that is causing the problem, rather than needing to prescribe Viagra. Erectile dysfunction can also be a sign of diabetes, and it is important that this possibility is thoroughly examined and addressed.
Secondly, by immediately reaching for the little blue pill, men are ignoring the possibility that their impotence may be the result of a psychological issue. This is particularly likely to be the case if the man is having no problems getting and maintaining an erection whilst masturbating, but is unable to ‘get it up’ when he is with a partner. This may result from a whole raft of psychological causes, such as anxiety, guilt or depression. If the problem is occurring within a long-term partnership, it may also indicate underlying problems with the relationship which need to be addressed. If a man with psychologically-rooted impotence turns to Viagra, he will either find that the Viagra stops working after a short period or he will find that the psychological problem is displaced into another physical form, such as premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation.
The good news is that psychologically-rooted erectile dysfunction can be addressed through a relatively simple set of cognitive and behavioural exercises, coupled with a therapeutic examination of the underlying issue. Working together with a good sex coach, many men find that they are able to restore erectile function, and with it their sexual confidence, in a relatively short time. Moreover, instead of relying on a little blue pill for their sexual performance, they know that it is all down to them , and that they have indeed still got what it takes to satisfy both themselves and their partners.
